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Friday, January 22, 2010

my space, our space and a place under the sun to find yourself and be yourself

Staking claim to territory/space or fighting for territory is prevalent among all creatures.

As times change the game of 'my space and our space' is manifested in differnt ways,; in the office it is a cornor office or a larger cabin and while travelling it is a window seat or front row. At home , it is not so obvious, but every one including the family pet, finds the most comfortable place for himself/or herself.

While the mundane aspect may be a matter of physical comfort, the more important factor would be the need for privacy, or the need for company. A four year old, may jockey for a place closer to his dad(or mum ).







A couple may look for a place to relax by themselves.



It is not that only the well to do people 'find' theirspace. Look at this villager comfortably perched on a roof top watching the sunset. He seems to be as much at ease, as a sophisticated lady in her drawing room.







It is always a balance between too much proximity which can be intrusive or too much distance leading to loneliness. At Ahmadnagar, during one of the many army courses I have been through, I made it a point to go for an early morning jog. At the end of the run I would stop to enjoy the sunrise. It was a kind of lonely place , a gently sloping ground, in the middle of nowhere. Everyday, without fail, en elderly couple would be sitting there well before the sunrise. They would sit about four feet apart , never closer nor farther. Since the place was desolate, there was no dearth for space. Probably, getting closer would crowd them and getting farther would be lack of company; In any case there was no verbal communication.

There is a requirement of someone near and dear within earshot distance yet non intrusive. To some extent this requirement is fulfilled by non stop FM radio or TV. An added advantage with this surrogate companion is that you can set the volume or turn it off when you want.

The comforting sound of pots and pans, or bangles accompanied by the aroma of cooking can actually be better than a non stop chat. This being the male perspective, I am sure ladies would find it good to have some signs of the presence of a man around; non intrusive I mean. Some music, a game on TV, ruffling of newspaper, cursing or even snoring. Of course, the signs of children in the house is generally distracting , but the absence of the mess they create may be disturbing or even depressing.

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